So, believe it or not, I’m a very shy person. I’m not so good at the whole, makin’ friends thing. I’m quiet to begin with, and the beard and metal t-shirts kind of make me unapproachable it seems. So, if I’m not talking to them, and they are afraid to talk to me, it’s hard to make friends. But, you kinda need friends in a new place. Well, let me restate that. You don’t need friends, but they’re sure nice to have. So I figured that, well, something has got to give. And that’s when I found out, that I am just not made to make friends. At all.
On Sunday I suppouse it was, we had a floor meeting. I was told I didn’t have to go by the RA, so I wasn’t jumping up to get ready. I didn’t really want to go, because I thought it would just be going over obvious rules and doing bogus icebreaker games. But most importantly, I didn’t want to go because I didn’t know where we had to go. So my plan? Hope one of my suitemates return in time to show me the way. So I sat in my room and waited, and waited. And then finally one of them came back, and he was getting ready, so I was just waiting for the chance to go with him. I thought when he was ready he’d casually remind me, “Hey, there’s a floor meeting. Wanna come?” And I would laugh and say “Oh, those things are so lame. But yeah, I’ll go with you. Just let me grab my shoes.”
Instead, he walks out the door, goes to lock it, and then comes back to my room and says “Dude, you know there’s a floor meeting right now, right? You coming, or are you going to skip it and think you’re some badass?”
…Yeah, that sure backfired. So, with my quick thinking, I look at the clock in my best attempt to be surprised and go “Oh shoot! Yeah! I totally forgot about that thing! Can you wait for me? I don’t want to be late. Thanks for reminding me, man!” When really I’m thinking “Ouch.” Friend attempt 1, Tom gets completely owned.
But it’s not just that one time. We now fast forward to Tuesday.
Before my first Physics lecture, I found my classroom early, as I was unsure I’d remember where it was. Finding a 200 hundred person lecture hall is actually easier than you’d think, and outside of it there was a wall with stools and a table where you can sit and wait for the class to begin, with your laptop or homework or whatever. I see a nice looking fellow, and sit beside him. We exchange hellos, and he’s pleasant enough. I feel that at best, I’ve found someone who I would not mind sitting next to in the class, and all is well. After we jokingly confirm we made it to the right place, I take out my Physics binder to look over the material that may be covered for that day.
Now, let me explain my Physics binder so you can understand this next part. My Physics binder is just that – a binder. It’s a red, three-clamp, generic brand poly-something-or-other binder. It looks like a binder, it has papers like a binder, and in every way, shape and form… it’s a binder. Inside of the Physics binder, and this is why it received it’s name, is my Physics book’s pages. My book came to me used, and for some reason, it came as just pages. The book is there in it’s entirety, it’s just not bound, and the pages are hole punched. And with this book, came laminated cheat-sheets, little reference guides for formulas and definitions. I put all of these papers in the binder, as any sane person would. I take out this binder, though, open it up, and he glances over and immediately sees what apparently looks just like his book, and he FLIPS OUT and rips the binder out of my hands to examine it. To him, this binder does not look like a binder. To him, I received a special edition version of the Physics book and he is MAD and he is mad at ME.
“WHAT THE &*%$ IS THIS?!?! HOW’D YOU &^$#IN’ GET THIS &^$^IN’ THING?!?! OH MAN &^$# ME! I’M SO SCREWED! HOW’D YOU GET THIS &%$*IN’ BOOK?!?!? WHY DO YOU HAVE ALL THESE FORMULAS WITH YOURS?!”
“Uh… it’s just… my book… put in a binder….”
“THIS THING IS &$%^IN’ RIDICULOUS! I DIDN’T GET THIS ^&#&! WHY DID YOU GET IT AND I DIDN’T? I’M THE ONE WHO &%$&IN’ NEEDS THESE THINGS!”
“I… just… I just bought what the online order form told me to…”
“*&$# ME, MAN! I GOT THE WRONG *%$#IN’ THING! YOU *&#&IN’ SUCK, DUDE. I’M SO GONNA FAIL, NOW. I SHOULD HAVE GOT THIS ^$#*IN’ BOOK AND NOT MY PIECE OF &$@# ONE! UGH!”
At which point, the binder is thrown back to me, and he returns to his laptop with a loud huff. My response? I quickly gather my things, and slowly slip out of my chair to find somewhere else to sit. Friend attempt 2, failure. And this guy’s in two of my three classes. I see him every day. And he still thinks we’re friends, I think.
Then today, I’m waiting in my calculus class, when Friend attempt 3 begins. Across the room, I hear a kid talking about the Physics homework due tomorrow, and explaining his frustrations to another kid in the class. Because I’m in the same class, as I concluded because I recognized one of the problems he was discussing, I listened in. I had a little difficulty with the work, too, but I got a couple of the problems so maybe I could help. So, he’s talking and talking, and as I had done the homework just a couple of hours prior to the class, the problems were fresh in my mind… but they weren’t fresh in his. He’s telling the guy about one problem he didn’t get, and about how you need to take the weight of one atom of coal (you should all laugh at this), and then get it’s volume, and goes on and on, not even getting the problem at all. So finally, I speak up, and I explain to him how I did it. Just voiced my opinion, how I thought it should be done. I might have even ended it with the words “Or that’s how I did it, but I don’t really know for sure.”
The kid thinks on it, and then instead of saying “Yeah, maybe. I don’t know either.” or a “Thanks, dude. I might try that.” or even a (and this is a longshot) ”Hey, let’s collaborate after class and be buddies. Maybe we’ll figure it out then.”, he says “No, I don’t think so. The problem actually said you have to…” and then continues to talk about the problem wrongly. He knew the numbers that were in the problem, but he didn’t know what he was doing. So I just shrugged my shoulders and went back to sitting quietly. Because now this kid was not saying he was doing the problem wrong, he was saying the book was wrong. When he clearly didn’t know what he was doing. After class, this kid followed me and continued to jam his ignorance and (dare I say) stupidity down my throat until I finally turned to enter a building he was not headed for. He was wrong, I knew he was wrong, he should have known he was wrong, but he didn’t. And it was actually the opposite, he was convinced he was doing it right, and followed me to vent on how the book and website are both “&&$&in’ retarded.” Friend attempt 3, fail.
And after, I realized that I just had to laugh. Because, I’m trying to make friends. Sure I am. But I just seem to attract very strange people. Or people react strangely to me, or it’s just more effects of my horrible luck. I don’t know, but for the rest of the day after that third strike, I just had to laugh. Because I am not capable of making friends. At all.
-Tom-